Ignis Libri: Axel's Lost Diary
by KHFan42
Summary: Axel's new to the Organization and as one of the new and first members, it's been said they should keep a diary. Axel figures he's got nothing better to do, so he partakes. See the Organization through his eyes and what follow him through his days as #8.
1. Entry 1

**Entry 1**

They told us to start writing in our own diaries…I don't think anyone will though…but hey, what the heck…not like I've got anything better for me to do. This is my first day in the Organization…no big deal or anything…There's only eight of us so I've seen…Isa's here too…his new name is Saix. Mine is Axel. It's my first official day. Don't wanna talk about how I got here…or even anything that's going on around me. I'm thinking I should just lay low and keep to myself, maybe stay with Is-…I mean…Saix for the time being…I'll just look out my window and see………dark…..darkness……a whoooole lot of it……….awesome. Well…this'll be fun…


	2. Entry 2

**Entry 2**

I tell ya. As soon as I get here, its work, work, work! Some of the guys think they're all that because they're older than me and Isa! Zexion's only a little baby…always reading…even as a Nobody…such a bookworm…man, how boring can ya get?! Vexen's always keeping the kid in line. I guess since he's here he's got no parents…part of me wants to ask him about it, but the other part doesn't really care. No offense to him in any way. Almost nobody knows why we're even here…what we are…no details…typical.

I've heard rumors about our 'leader' calling us to this big room that he's building. Him and these…creatures. I don't know what the heck they are. I've seen glimpses of them as I go back to my room after missions, but they're freaky looking… They're like nothing I've ever seen before. Those things, the heartless, look nothing like these things. They're white and they have zippers for mouths…they're really tall, lanky freaks. As tall as I am! And they have this weird symbol on their faces…it kind of looks like an upside down heart with three spears attached to it. I don't know how to explain it. It's just…weird.

Anyway, nobody talks. Not even a word. I guess they're just confused about what's happening to them. I know I am. I have no idea what the heck is going on and it actually kind of scares me. Isa hardly even talks to me anymore. He just stands in the debriefing room looking out these huge windows. I've tried getting him to talk, but he just ignores me, keeps staring…Has he forgotten everything in our past? I haven't…I still remember everything. Maybe he forgot we were best friends or maybe he forgot how we were always hanging out every day…or maybe he forgot how to talk. Hah, I crack myself up!

Well…as I can see, I'm opening up…to myself…I mean, who else is gonna read this…


	3. Entries 3 through 5

**Entry 3**

Just another normal day in the Organization…a day full of boredom. They're starting to take us on training missions. I still haven't seen out 'fearless leader' but he seems pretty fearless if he keeps hiding all the time and doing 'secret projects' that only two of the others know about. Still, no one talks. Isa still will hardly look at me and I don't know why. Honestly…it makes me want to cry…I'm the manliest of men, don't get me wrong…it's just, I feel like I've lost my best friend…and that's worse then losing my heart.

They're also making us work on this castle that we're in. It's in this whole world…just for us. But there's no light. None whatsoever. I've been a Nobody for almost 4 days now and I've almost forgotten what light looks like! The world is appearing more and more through the days we're here. There are buildings like I've never seen before! Towers so high it makes be dizzy just looking at them! And it's almost always raining. It's like…it's almost like the sky is always crying…like it feels sorry for us……Sorry if I sound poetic, but it's true.

Anyway, the world is so dark and dreary, it makes me depressed just looking at it. Waking up every morning to look out my window and see never ending darkness when I _should_ see sunlight! It's killing me! Why'd this have to happen to us?! To me!!? It makes me so angry! I just wanna……wanna……ugh….I dunno…but I swear…those _things_ will pay for what they did to me. To Isa. To everyone they've ever hurt. Taken something away from. I'll take 'em all out myself if I have to…

**Entry 4**

The training started for Vexen, Xigbar, Xalden, and Lexeus today. Not for me, Zexion, and Isa though…I still try to talk to him, but he still won't say anything. I'm starting to think there's no hope in bringing him back from the dark hole he's in all the time. Yet, another part of me really, truly believes he's still the same Isa from before. Maybe he's like that artist…the one who went through the blue period…or was it black…red..? I never was that into art anyway. Not really my thing.

I'm seeing more and more of those creatures that our leader created. Vexen tells me they're called Dusks. He said he helped make them. He said they're lesser beings of nothing. They're like the heartless that result from a person who loses their hearts. It's a shell of a lesser-hearted person. When I asked what _we _are he just said,

"You will know in time young one."

Ugh…I hate people that talk like that.

So now it's me and the little Zexion working on the castle. As for Isa? Our leader called him to speak with him. I wonder how that goes. Maybe that will make him talk. I can only hope…

As of right now, I gotta help Zexion carry stuff for building and leave it for the Dusks. After all, Zexion _is_ only 7 years old…why is he here? I still haven't asked him. He is little, so I don't think I will for a while.

**Entry 5**

Man! This stinks!

Today's training, the same people went as yesterday. Vexen, Xigbar, Xaldin, and Lexeus. But today, they have a new recruit with them. Yeah, Isa! What the heck?! _He_ gets to go but _I'm_ left behind babysitting some little kid that doesn't say a word to me no matter what I do AND to top it all off we have to work on the castle while they're gone ALL DAY! It's not fair! If our leader wanted Isa to go, why didn't he let _me_ go too?! We came here together!

It's not like Isa does anything to help anyway. Or Zexion. He just sits around and reads all day, so it's basically me all alone. I wish there were more people around…even though it might not be so good for them, but it's so quiet and lonely here. It looks like those 5 are going to be in and out of the castle for a few days in a row, so I might be doing more work than I can handle. Which of course means, no writing. SO, when I get an opportunity to write in this thing, that'll be my first priority.


	4. Entry 6

**Entry 6**  
Been about a week since I picked up this thing but I've been held down with all the stupid work. Yeah...we're still doing that. Isa seems to have figured out his powers. Yeah, apparently we all have those. Me and Zexion are the only ones that haven't been trained yet. Xaldin tells us "your time will come soon". What a load of crud. I think they just plan to keep us both here playing the maids while everyone has a good time learning what they can do. Stupid Organization...

Anyway, it looks like the only way that the others get around is through these "dark corridors" that they make appear by holding their hand out. Me and Zexion tried it but nothing happens. Guess that's what the training's for. He started talking to me you know. I guess he got tired of keeping his mouth shut all the time since no one else is around. I gotta tell you, silence ain't that golden. I HATED not being able to talk to anyone. It get's annoying.

The Dusks, those creatures with the zippers for mouths I mentioned before? They have a master, our leader, who's name I've heard is Xemnas, and they do whatever he orders them to. The same is with some of the others.

Isa still won't talk to me. Yeah, still. It's making me mad. If I could smack the guy upside the head I would, but it isn't worth it anymore I guess. There's gotta be a way to make him remember. Maybe it's because I'm 'beneath' him now because he's been training with the other guys, but he's never been like that before. How could someone you've known for forever change so much in so little time. Whatever, I'll get him eventually.


	5. Entry 7

**Warning: This Chapter may contain spoilers**  
It's my opinion as to what happened the day Radiant Garden was destroyed.

**Entry 7**  
Yes Yes YES! Tomorrow's the day! Finally! I was starting to think I was just here to clean up the place!

Xaldin told me that I'm being taken out to get some training with fighting skills and stuff. When I asked who was taking me, he said, "You'll see that tomorrow." Eh...figures. That guy's all action and no talk. Or so he seems to me. I'm kind of hoping it's Isa that goes with me. That way it'll be easier for me to move up cause I'll end up kicking his butt in the long run. Heh.

Zexion was telling me a little about himself. How his parents died and this guy Ansem the Wise took him in. That was the guy that got me and Isa into this whole mess...Might as well write this down...so I remember in case, well...in case I forget. Don't know how I could though.

You see, me and Isa were always looking for an adventure. Well, I was, and it wasn't long after we met this kid Ventus that we knew for sure we were ready to take the step. Ansem the Wise was looking for test subjects for an experiment and he was gonna pay mucho Munny for the people who agreed. With that Munny, Isa and I could go anywhere we wanted. We could explore the worlds with no problem. But, that _was_ the problem. When we got to Ansem's lab, all the people that are here with us now were there. Ansem welcomed us and led us into the test chamber. His experiment was to see what would happen when a strong hearted person was attacked by a heartless. He assured us that we would be alright, but something went wrong. When he summoned the heartless, he summoned too many and pretty soon, the whole town of Radiant Gardens was infested with those freaks. We tried to get out, but it was too late for any of us. Ansem managed to escape...that coward ran without hezitation...but the rest of _us _suffered for _his_ stupid mistake. I dunno what happened to everyone else there...and I don't think I ever want to go back. There's no point in it. That town is T-O-A-S-T...got it memorized?


	6. Entry 8

**Entry 8**  
Well today was pretty eventful actually. Surprising to say that myself.

It started by waking up and going into a little meeting type room with couches and big windows. Xaldin was there, waiting for me. He opened one of those dark portals, barely even saying a word to me except, "come". So naturally I had no choice but to do so. I followed him through the dark portal. It was pretty creepy. Lots of colors, which was surprising. Then it opened on the other side in this weird town. I remember I had to sheild my eyes because it was so bright. Anyway, all that my training was today was learning how to open a portal of my own. Basically it went like this...

Xaldin told me to hold my hand out and control the darkness so I could open a portal. He told me to "fill myself with the darkness so that it would obey my command". Confused the heck out of me. But whatever. I thought about darkness and saw how the others opened the portals so easily. It took a few tries but I finally did it. So now I can open a portal to wherever I want...or so I thought.

No one really knows what's out there, and I'm surprised that they found this world off the bat. I only hope there's more out there to explore. That's what I wanted to do in the first place. It'll be good when me and Isa get paired up. Then we can go wherever we want, like it was supposed to be.


End file.
